Come, walk with me: I will tell you my story...

~Don't dwell on reality; it will only keep you from greatness~

4 December 1982
External Services:
  • tsu@livejournal.com
  • kd tsuriai
  • kd.tsuriai
Today we are going to be discussing the tsuriai.

The tsuriai is a small, brightly-coloured bird that resides predominantly in cheesecakes along the north coastline of Eastern Mongopoly. She feeds on chocolate, berries, ocean liners, teapots, and her own young. Her favourite colour is khaki blue, her favourite pastime is kicking midgets, her batting average is 4.5, and her favourite topic of conversation is her chronically itchy toes.

This is her journal. You will find it filled with words and custard. She has an alarming tendency to hunt lurkers down with machetes. She makes wonderful animal noises. She has been described once as being "a lovely girl", but we suspect the speaker in question was paid a hefty sum of money in advance. Little is known about the mating habits of the tsuriai, though we presently believe they can be summarised as "yes, please". She enjoys long walks on the beach and hitting unsuspecting passers-by with large marine mammals. She hates the cold, and Spades, who is a hobag. She draws fic and writes stickfigures. She has no willy.

Go forth, my minons, my fillet mignons, and egg her journal, for she is a rare bird and is excellent for keeping the breeze out of small Indian temples.

- curtosy of furiouscupofcat


Tsu is sweet, but she is not food and should not be eaten. Well, not unless she wants to. Tsu also lacks pants, for a mysterious reason that certainly isn't 'Kalika stole them.' ~~ kalikamaxwell

Tsu is a very bitey creature of the black lagoon, beyond the mists of time. Cunning and swift, she will nip from the great beyond and drag you back into it. On a different note, she's a sodomite enabler! Oh, wow, you have no idea how many awesome points she gets for that. :) ~~ merthedil

Tsu knows good beer, good times, and good fic! :D ~~ cryogenia

Tsu knows how to give a girl a good time, hooey, yeah baby. One word. Pie. Man, I got so wet at her house, let me tell ya... oh wait... TESTIMONIALS... I mean she's a great beta and writes lovely squickfic. ~~ velvet_mace

Tsu is fun and fluffy and a great influence on my writing of RoyxEd porny stuff. ~~ inugrlrayn

Tsuriai is my baby girl and I adore her to bits. She is one of the sweetest people on the entire internet. Her best feature is her ass amazing capacity to put up with people's whinging. Her worst feature is her irrational and inexplicable fear of bears.

You can't have her, she is mine.
~~ furiouscupofcat